It's A Good Thing She Didn't Steal A TV

An adult female shopper went into the department store on the second floor and began to shoplift armfulls of apparel merchandise.  The theft was caught on camera and security went out to detain the individual.  She ran out of the store with security hot on her heels, and when they were about to catch her, she threw all of the merchandise over the second floor railing, causing a very colorful shower of apparel on customers below.  (To this day we are glad she didn't steal a TV)  The security guard grabbed the woman's sweatshirt, and she spun around and backed out of it, leaving the guard holding the sweatshirt.  The woman who was by no means small in stature or endowment, wasn't wearing ANY clothing underneath the sweatshirt, and immediately proceeded to run out of the mall toward the bus stop, naked from the waist up!  Department store security radioed mall security to head her off at the pass.  She was pretty easy to spot so she was quickly apprehended near the bus stop.   I guess she thought she could blend into the crowd.

Blue Jeans Would Go Real Well With That Ensemble

Mall Security was called to one of the Department stores to assist in covering a shoplifting incident.  Apparently, the scheme was that one individual would go into the changing room with 2 pairs of new jeans, hand off his old pair to an accomplice, put on one of the new pairs of jeans, and then attempt to leave the store with the second pair in a bag.  Department store security detained the shoplifter after he attempted to leave the store with the jeans in the bag.  After the police arrived, the manager on duty checked the dressing room, found the tags for one of the stolen pairs of jeans on the floor, and then told the officer that the person was wearing a stolen pair of jeans, besides the other pair in the bag.  The officer replied, “You want them back now?”  The manager indicated that he did, and the officer obligated the shoplifter to remove the jeans and give them back.  The officer then directed his partner to drive the squad car to the other end of the mall, and then they marched the shoplifter through the mall wearing only a shirt, underwear, cowboy boots, and handcuffs.  I guess he wanted to send a message to anyone else thinking of shoplifting that day?

Another Day at the Zoo

In the earlier days of shopping malls, it was not uncommon to see a petting zoo in the mall for several weeks, together with some small carnival rides, as a promotion to attract customers.  The petting zoos typically contained small farm animals and a few exotics.   A pen was erected in the mall, and every morning and evening, the animal “wranglers” would march the animals through the mall to and from their cages in their travel trailers.  On one occasion, the petting zoo included a six foot tall ostrich.  The first several days of their performance went well.  The next night, the floor crew put down 2 coats of sealer and 4 coats of wax on the terrazzo floor from the entrance to center court.   I was walking the center with the operations director early the next morning before the mall opened, and watched the wrangler escorting the ostrich in from the trailer.  The ostrich, being a 2-toed beast started to slip on the freshly waxed floor as if it were in a skating rink.  The ostrich lost it, fell down, and rolled on its back into a defensive position, which apparently they do as a matter of instinct.  The ostrich had a common female name, like “Debbie”, and the wrangler spoke to it softly, helped it roll back over and get on its feet.  The ostrich made some headway, slipping and sliding, and after taking a number of gangly steps fell down again.  The wrangler rolled it over as before and helped it to its feet.  By this time we were near the stage at center court in front of the jewelry stores, and had almost caught up to the ostrich and wrangler.  The bird took another spill, and had apparently had enough of this.  When the wrangler made a move to bend down once again to help the fallen bird, the ostrich thrust out his 2-toed foot and struck the wrangler in the chest with such force that it made a loud “WHUMP” sound as it knocked him on his rear.  The wrangler immediately let out a blood-curdling yell and struggled to regain his composure and get back up.  Since the rest of the mall hadn’t yet received the new wax, the wrangler was able to coax the bird down to its pen at the other end of the mall.  Once we figured out that we didn’t need to call the paramedics, we laughed until we cried.  The promotion would probably have been more successful if we billed it as a "boxing ostrich and friends", instead of just a petting zoo.

Want a "Swirlie" with that?

My friend called me one day to read me portions of a lawsuit that he had just received, which pertained to the shopping mall he was managing.  It seems that there was an issue that arose due to a planned shutdown of the water main during construction.  The mall’s typical procedure, whenever a new tenant was added to the water system, was to have the security officer deliver a written memo to each merchant the day before, and have them sign off that they received the message.  A memo was delivered in this case by security, and each merchant did sign off. 

Unfortunately, the hairstylist’s employees didn’t share the message with the morning shift stylist, who had an early styling appointment the next day.  The employee applied the appropriate chemicals to the customer’s hair, and when it came time to rinse off the chemicals, the employee turned on the water , and to her horror found that there was no water pressure.  In a bit of a panic, the stylist dragged the customer into the restroom and began scooping water out of the toilet, over the hysterical verbal objections of the customer.  She ended up forcing the customer’s head into the toilet to rinse off all of the chemicals.  The customer was not impressed or amused and immediately filed suit.  Fortunately the mall team followed procedure to the letter and the tenant had to defend the suit.

For a couple of years after the incident I often inquired of my friend as to the going rate for a “Swirlie” at his mall’s hairstylist, and whether they were going to make that a “permanent” offering.